Josh Baldwin: Music has played a huge role in my mental health, whether I’ve realized it or not. I think now the older I get, the more I’m aware of, like, This is an anxious thought or feeling or stress or whatever. I think music, especially music that’s full of scripture, full of the Word, has a great way of keeping your eyes off of yourself, keeping your mind focused on things from above, focused on the Lord.

Harmony and Hope: Facing Life’s Best and Worst Moments with Josh Baldwin and Diane Chew – Episode #427

Narrator: Welcome to the Jesus Calling Podcast. It’s difficult to maintain positivity when obstacle after obstacle seem to be thrown in our paths. But as our guests this week discovered, resilience can be found when we seek community support, show a willingness to shift our perspectives, and lean on our faith. They remind us that hope and harmony can be cultivated, even in the face of adversity. 

Josh Baldwin—a worship leader, songwriter, and artist with over two decades of experience—opens up about walking through a challenging season of mental health in his family, and how he turned to music for comfort, which he now passes on to his listeners.

Later, we’ll hear from Diane Chew, known as Dementia Coach Diane, a life coach and caregiver. Diane shares practical tips for dementia care and emphasizes self-care for caregivers, drawing from her experiences of over fifty years, and with her husband through the challenges of his cognitive decline due to Lewy Body Dementia. 

Let’s begin with Josh’s story.

Josh Baldwin: Hey, I’m Josh Baldwin and I am a worship leader. I’m a songwriter, an artist, and I have been leading worship since I was in high school in my youth group—in my little church in North Carolina—and then got into writing songs in my early twenties. I love it and it’s my passion and calling and thankfully has been able to morph into a job that I still love to this day. 

I’m from a little town in North Carolina called Albemarle, North Carolina. It’s about forty-five minutes outside of Charlotte. I grew up in a home where my dad was a pastor, but also led worship in our church and was very, very involved in music. My mother was very involved in music too, and sang in the choir. And my intro into music was playing drums. I played drums for my dad as he led worship and I think I was twelve or thirteen when I started playing drums in our church.

Loving Music But Feeling Lost  

When I was sixteen, seventeen years old, my parents separated and then a year later divorced. And that was a pretty traumatic thing, I mean, especially being the son of a pastor. My dad’s a preacher in a small town. You know, that was like a big scandal in my little town. And I was blessed to have such a great relationship with my friends in my youth group, my youth pastor, that through all of that, I just stayed close with the Lord. The Lord really helped walk me through that. My friends helped walk me through that. 

I remember leaving high school and part of me wanted to just get out of my little town to get away from just everything going on with my family. And so I went to college to get away from that, not knowing really what I wanted to do with my life. I was leading worship, playing guitar in my dorm room. 

The summer after my sophomore year in college, I got asked to lead worship at this youth camp, and it was kind of the first time I had been asked to do something for an event like that. And it was just one of those amazing weeks of this meeting with the Lord. There were times of worship that were really powerful. And then there was one night in particular I was leading this old Delirious? song, “History Maker.” And at the end of that, the pastor came up and just had this time of ministry and we just kept the music going. I remember I felt like I needed to lay down and I just laid down on the stage, and I started bawling. I don’t know what came over me,  I just felt the Lord so strong. There was just like nothing I could do except just lay there and just cry. 

In that moment, one of the pastors came up, my dad’s best friend, and just started praying over me. He said, “Josh, this is who you were called to be. You were called to lead worship. You were called to write songs.” And that was like the defining moment in my life of, Okay, I’m gonna leave college. 

I went home, back to my little small town in Albemarle. I worked in a mobile home factory for a year laying tile. I didn’t know what to do. I was terrible at it, but I did it for a year just to save up money, to eventually go to this ministry school in Charlotte and pursue leading worship and doing ministry. I think when I really became a songwriter was when I started doing it every day. 

At the beginning of my songwriting career, I felt like most of my songs came out of worship times with the Lord, or just in my room or whatever. And I would just start singing these choruses or these lines kind of spontaneously. And I would be like, Oh, that’s great. The song would come out of that moment, and that would feel very divine and just this inspiring moment with the Lord. And so I kind of thought, Well, that’s how you’re supposed to write, or, That’s the only way a worship song can be written is in that moment with the Lord. That felt a little more holy than just scheduling to write. But the funny thing is as I get older, and busier and I’m a parent, I’m a husband, I realize there’s something actually very holy about setting aside time in my day and sacrificing time to just actually do what I’ve been called to do and meet with the Lord and try to write. And that actually feels more holy to me in a lot of ways than just these inspiring moments in worship. The worship times are amazing, but there’s also something so sweet and special about, “No, I’m actually setting aside everything today to just write and meet with the Lord and just ask Him to come and be a part of this moment.” Those times feel more holy to me in a lot of ways. 

Finding Rest With the Prince of Peace

“Prince of Peace,” that song is so special to me and my family. Me and my wife, we went through a season where my wife started having anxiety and panic attacks and a really rough year. And depression would just kind of hit, and in the middle of that, I came off the road, stopped traveling, and just came home for a season. 

And there was one moment where I was scheduled to write with two of my friends and one of them actually was flying in from Australia to write with us, so I didn’t want to cancel. That felt like a big, big step for him to make. So my wife was like, “No, you need to go, go be go be there with them.” So I remember going in and I just didn’t want to be there, honestly. I was just feeling discouraged about what was going on at home and just the lack of peace, honestly, that my wife was going through. And I just opened up and started talking to the guys about it. I’m close enough friends with them that I could share it with them. And one of the guys started sharing, he’s like, “Dude, I’m going through the same thing right now. And I have never been hit with panic attacks in my life, but I’m going through that and anxiety right now.” And he said, “I feel like this is the Lord. I feel like we’re supposed to first pray through this, but also maybe try to write a song, just kind of an honest, vulnerable song about where we feel like we are, but also remind ourselves of who the Lord is and who He says He is.”

So we started writing that song and just being very vulnerable in the verses, talking about what it feels like, honestly, to be in a panic and to be consumed with anxiety and to feel like you’re out of control and you don’t have control in your world. But then to just call on the Lord and say, “No, I met you as a Savior. You’re all these things to me, and I need you to be the Prince of Peace in my life.”

And I remember taking it home, playing it for my wife. Through that, this breakthrough with the Lord, and a prayer group that my wife also got into—she found so much healing throughout that year. We’ve gotten to see the Lord do some really amazing things in the song. And it’s been just such a sweet reminder of how faithful the Lord is, but also how He sees all the little things and how He is that Prince of Peace. And that means that wherever He’s given permission to reign in my life, then the peace just automatically is there because the peace follows Him. And so that’s my prayer for this song as it goes out, is that it does bring the peace of God wherever it’s played, wherever it’s listened to.

“Wherever He’s given permission to reign in my life, then the peace just automatically is there because the peace follows Him.” – Josh Baldwin 

Looking to God and Not Our Worries

I think sometimes growing up, prayer was like the thing my dad did with me at night before going to bed, or the thing we did before we ate our meals. But as I get older, I realize it’s more so the thing that the Lord even created Adam for. It was just that He wanted a friend. He wanted someone to walk with and talk with and share His life with. And that’s who I want the Lord to be with me. I want to make sure I am walking with Him daily. And when I feel things start to spiral out of control in some ways, or my mind starts to wander, I start to lose vision, I can honestly pinpoint a lot of those times with going back: Okay, how is my daily walk with The Lord? Am I actually just spending time with the Lord in prayer? Am I actually just spending time going on a walk with the Lord and starting off with just thanking Him and just being so grateful for who He is, but also just talking and just sharing my thoughts and my day with Him?

I feel like it’s hard for me to be anxious about things and grateful to the Lord for all He’s done at the same time. We’re going to start our day off just being grateful for what the Lord’s done for us and all that He is and all that He’s been and who He will be. 

“I feel like it’s hard for me to be anxious about things and grateful to the Lord for all He’s done at the same time.” – Josh Baldwin

Jesus Listens, May 27th: 

My ever-near God,

Sometimes I feel as if I’m in a desolate place—devoid of Your loving companionship. But whether I sense Your Presence or not, I can call out to You and know that You are with me. The Bible promises that You are near to all who call on You. As I whisper Your Name in tender trust, help me cast my doubts to the wind!

You satisfy the hunger of my heart with the Joy and Peace of Your Presence, assuring me: “I am with you and will watch over you wherever You go.”

In Your generous Name, Jesus, 

Amen

Narrator: To learn more about Josh Baldwin, visit www.joshbaldwin.com, and check out his song “Prince of Peace” wherever you get your music.

Stay tuned to Diane Chew’s story after a brief message.

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Introducing The Jesus Calling Commemorative Edition

The Jesus Calling brand has impacted more than forty-six million lives, and now, there’s a beautiful commemorative edition that celebrates Jesus Calling and the life of beloved author Sarah Young. 

This special edition features a larger, deep blue hardcover with a striking gold foil design on the cover, and includes devotions for every day of the year. Plus, new inspiring work written before Sarah’s passing. You’ll get twelve new bonus devotions and you’ll start each month with a letter from Sarah to her readers.

This special commemorative edition also features moving, personal touches, including a loving essay from Sarah’s daughter celebrating her legacy, and you’ll see samples of Sarah’s handwritten devotionals. 

The updated deep blue design and deluxe packaging make this a heartfelt gift for the special people in your life, and the perfect way for you to spend time in the presence of the Savior. 

The Jesus Calling commemorative edition is available for pre-order for a limited time. 

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Our next guest is life coach and caregiver Diane Chew. Diane opens up about the challenges, fears, and unexpected blessings that come with caring for a loved one with dementia. She shares the personal journey she and her husband Ben have faced, highlighting the realities of life with this devastating illness, and the importance of finding light even in the darkest of times.

Diane Chew: So my name is Diane Chew, I’m a life coach, but I’m also a home-based caregiver for my husband, Ben, who’s living with Lewy Body Dementia. And I share our journey together on social media and try to offer practical tips for caring for someone living with dementia and also offer support for caregivers themselves from a mental, physical, and spiritual perspective. 

I’m particularly passionate about helping caregivers learn how to take care of themselves so they can live a life in parallel with a loved one, versus falling into that old paradigm of caregivers having to give up their life for their loved one.

Facing an Unexpected Mystery Illness

Ben and I have been together for over fifty years, and we had just gotten to the point in life where we were starting to experience what a lot of people refer to as the golden years. We don’t have children, but we both had busy careers. Ben’s a musician and a recording engineer and producer. I’m a scientist.

We were beginning to enjoy the freedom that comes from feeling stable and secure. You know, we were enjoying our creative hobbies, our time with each other and family and friends. But it became clear that there was something wrong with Ben’s cognitive condition. 

In fact, his friends noticed it first during routine conversations when he had a distorted sense of time, thinking we had just moved into our home when in fact, we had lived here like twenty-five years. He thought his parents were still alive, when in fact, they had both been gone for over thirty years. Started getting lost coming and going from familiar places, and getting paranoid about his personal effects. But he didn’t seem to have a real awareness of his own problem. 

One of the hardest things that dementia caregivers experience is getting an accurate diagnosis, and that certainly was one of the challenges that we faced. I was terrified. I have to admit, I really didn’t know what we were dealing with. I was really confused about how to handle things. I had to trick Ben into going to the emergency room to rule out a brain tumor. Quite honestly, I was on high alert all the time. Praying for guidance, researching Ben’s symptoms, talking to the Alzheimer’s Association hotline, scheduling and rescheduling doctor’s appointments because I couldn’t get Ben to go to the doctor. So I felt like all I could do was kind of react to one mini crisis after another. I was just responding and reacting to what felt like a constant emergency.

“I felt like all I could do was kind of react to one mini crisis after another. I was just responding and reacting to what felt like a constant emergency.” – Diane Chew  

Diane’s Husband Ben Gets Diagnosed with Dementia

Lewy Body Dementia is one of the more aggressive forms of dementia. Ben does take some low doses of pharmaceuticals that thankfully we have not had to change for over a year because those with Lewy body dementia can also be highly sensitive to medications.

Early on, he was in some ways more resistant than he is now. It was difficult trying to get him to settle down. Highly agitated and anxious. He was paranoid. About a year ago, when symptoms were progressing rapidly, he was so claustrophobic in the car that he was actually clawing to get out of the car. 

At this point, his short term memory is actually almost non-existent. And he can’t actually manage any of the activities of daily living without guidance and help. Personal care, getting dressed, preparing meals, I mean, of course, he can’t drive or engage in any of the tasks that he used to do for his work or his hobbies. Unfortunately, Ben’s language skills are almost gone. His words rarely make sense to me, and from what I can tell, it’s difficult for him. He’s trying to communicate. He’s obviously still thinking and processing, maybe at a different rate, but he tries to communicate with me. It’s just that he can’t really express his needs, which is one of the biggest challenges.

Thankfully, in Ben’s case, he’s actually physically healthy. He’s only seventy-one at this point. And he can eat and drink whatever I prepare for him. But he can’t be left on his own, day or night. So I obviously have to take care of everything for him, for myself, and for our home. 

It’s something that I just pray about continually and put him in God’s hands. Ben is now comfortable in the car. And we go for drives for an hour and a half in the morning, sometimes again in the afternoon. While we’re in the car, he settles down and we have these lovely car rides together, and I’m just grateful for a car that works and grateful we live in a place where we can drive in the country for a long time and just have a really sweet and lovely time together. 

Diane Tells Her Story to Help Others

One of the things that came to me was to start to share our journey on social media. And it was about a year ago when, quite honestly, I was having a hard time counting our blessings. I felt like I was bleeding money for caregivers and a concierge doctor and everything, just trying to get us into a more stable place. But I was crying out to God one day and a clear question came back to me. And it was like, “Diane, am I a God of expansion or constriction?” And I was like, “Well, okay, You’re a God of expansion.” He said, “Well, what’s the most expansive thing you can think of?” And I’m like, “Oh, the internet.” “I want you to start to share your journey on social media.” And oh my gosh, I couldn’t think of anything more horrifying at the time. It was too personal and too private. And I had no idea how to post anything on social media. 

It took me about six or seven months because I was really going kicking and screaming, but I felt like I had to do something. And I needed somehow to process everything that was happening every day. I wanted to find the blessings, but I was often trapped in my own head, and I was isolated and alone and scared and I didn’t know what to do. So finally I actually started taking little videos and I thought, Well, maybe if I start to post our journey, I could help somebody else. And so I did. 

“I needed somehow to process everything that was happening every day. I wanted to find the blessings, but I was often trapped in my own head, and I was isolated and alone and scared and I didn’t know what to do.” – Diane Chew 

It’s been incredible that God created this community for us. And that’s been an incredible blessing that at any point of the day or night, I can hop on to social media and I can connect with other people who are going through the same thing. And it does remind me that I’m never alone. And that’s been incredible. I’m in awe of God’s power and might and how He created this community. There’s no way I could have done that on my own strength, but He brought all these people together and it’s been truly miraculous. 

We have three choices in life when we face circumstances that we didn’t expect. We can change them, we can accept them, or we can suffer. And I was suffering quite a bit, when all of this first started with Ben. I couldn’t believe that this was our life, or our new life. We had been through a lot of intense challenges, with sickness and disability and things that I thought were behind us. 

It takes constant practice to look for the blessings, and to stay connected to something bigger than my thoughts and feelings. 

“It takes constant practice to look for the blessings, and to stay connected to something bigger than my thoughts and feelings.” – Diane Chew 

One of the beautiful things—and maybe this is partly because we’ve been together for so long—is that we oftentimes don’t really need words to communicate. And so Ben and I do communicate all day, every day. It’s just in a much different way. And one of the things that I have learned to do is play detective, first of all, because if he is uncomfortable or seems to be in distress, I have to really ask myself a series of questions about what might be going on with him. He might be chatting away and I’ll just listen and kind of go with whatever he seems to be expressing. And a lot of times I find myself repeating things, but mostly repeating things like, like, “Wow, that sounds like a good idea.” Or, “Yeah, let’s do that,” or, “I’m with you,” or, “We’re a team.” 

And the truth is, he continues to teach me things about life. And the biggest one has been how to learn how to stay in the present moment, because that’s where he is. He doesn’t worry about the future. So he’s just wherever he is, whatever he’s responding to in his environment, whatever thoughts do cross his mind, he’s just present.  

Jesus said over and over, “Your spirit is right here with me. I’m right here with you. Do not worry about the future of what you’re going to eat, what you’re going to drink. Don’t worry. [Matthew 6:25]” He said, “Don’t be anxious about anything. But with everything, with prayer and thanksgiving, make your request be made known to me, and I’ll give you peace in the present moment. [Philippians 4:6-7]” That’s going to bypass that mental activity that gets us caught in the past or worried about the future. His promises are coming true for me in this case, through this new phase of our relationship. 

Oxygen Mask Moments for Caretakers

I’ve heard so many times from people like, “Well, you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself, Diane.” And at first it would really irritate me sometimes and annoy me. I know they were well-meaning, but I would think, How the heck am I supposed to do that? I was in fight or flight all the time, I was in hyper vigilance and hyper alert all the time. But nobody can take care of my nervous system but me. 

Through pretty constant prayer about that because of course, I knew it was true, I really have come to rethink what self-care even means. No longer does it mean a spa day, or a vacation, or even taking the long walks I used to take every day. It’s evolved into what I call “oxygen mask moments,” short but powerful practices that I can do in five or ten minutes throughout my day that keep me going. And certainly, it starts with prayer. I mean, the minute I realize that I’m conscious, I start to pray. I talk to Jesus, the Holy Spirit within me, and I ask that He guide me to serve Him in the best way possible, moment by moment. But of course, that includes serving my spirit and serving my body. And so I make it my intention to take care of myself and trust that I’m going to be guided on how to do that. 

When I wake up in the morning, I’m often up before Ben, so I’ll set my alarm and I will sit there and I will take the breaths down into my belly. Diaphragmatic breathing is something that actually calms me down, helps me to start my day in a peaceful manner, and helps me to remember to deep breathe as I’m scurrying around taking care of Ben. I practice a technique called the Emotional Freedom Technique or tapping, where you make use of affirmations and the acupressure points around the face and body to literally tap away stress. I often sing in the shower. I put on music as I make meals. I shake my body as I dance through the kitchen. I journal whenever I can. And I’ve also learned to ask for help and if necessary, pay for help. And one of my favorite things to do is—it sounds a little crazy—I’ll take a bowl of ice cubes and I’ll go out and I’ll smash ice cubes on the driveway. It’s actually highly satisfying to take something and just smash it, and you feel the energy flowing out of your body and smashing on the driveway. I do see a grief therapist, and I have to deal with anticipatory grief, knowing that Ben has technically got a disease that’s going to progress. 

There are ways that we can take care of ourselves, even as we’re taking care of somebody else. And it does take intention. It takes willingness. It takes stubbornness, I think, to not go down with the ship. I am not going to give up my life. Ben wouldn’t want me to do that. 

“It takes stubbornness, I think, to not go down with the ship. I am not going to give up my life. Ben wouldn’t want me to do that.” – Diane Chew 

You know, one of my sisters introduced me to Jesus Calling years ago, and she ended up giving copies to everybody in the family. And so we’ve been reading Sarah Young’s devotionals and sharing them with each other ever since. Jesus Calling and Jesus Listens are my two favorites. In fact, Ben was the one who saw Jesus Listens sitting all by itself in a small group of books in a retail store. And this was actually right before his symptoms started to progress rapidly. So I felt it was a direct message from God to keep crying out to Him and to trust that He would guide me. And it is amazing. 

I know I’m enough because I’m created in God’s image. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I have been given this role and this opportunity to find out more about just how enough I am as God’s child and how enough Ben is. He’s whole and perfect and complete just as he is. I want to be there for him for as long as I possibly can, and he’s there for me, and so it’s worth it to me. I’m worth it to take care of myself for my sake and for his. 

The Holy Spirit will give us the wisdom to know what I just need to let go of, and what I can act on, and to give me that strength and faith to act when I can and let go when I can’t.  I do just continue to trust that God has been orchestrating things all along, and I trust He’s going to continue to do so.

“The Holy Spirit will give us the wisdom to know what I just need to let go of, and what I can act on, and to give me that strength and faith to act when I can and let go when I can’t.” – Diane Chew 

I would just encourage anybody, whether you’re facing the caregiving challenge, the new mom challenge, the recent diagnosis challenge, whatever you’re facing that just feels like it’s beyond your ability to cope… the truth is, yes it is. But together with your Creator, you will cope and you will be stronger than the storm.

From Jesus Listens, May 23rd: 

My strong Shepherd, 

I come to You with all my weaknesses: spiritual, emotional, and physical. As I rest in the comfort of Your Presence, I remember that nothing is impossible with You—and I rejoice in You! 

Help me pry my mind away from my problems so I can focus my attention more fully on You. Lord, You are the One who is able to do immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine! Instead of trying to direct You to do this and that, I want to attune myself to what You are already doing. 

Whenever anxiety attempts to wedge its way into my thoughts, please remind me that You are my Shepherd. Since You are taking care of me, I don’t need to be afraid of anything! Rather than trying to maintain control over my life, I want to abandon myself to You. Even though this feels scary and precarious, I know that the most secure place to be is right beside You. 

In Your comforting Name, Jesus, 

Amen 

Narrator: To learn more about Diane, please visit www.dementiacoachdiane.com, and be sure to follow her on social media. 

If you’d like to hear more stories about making the best of our circumstances, check out our Peace in Uncertain Times YouTube video with Jennie Finch.

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Next week: Joe Dobbins

Next time on the Jesus Calling Podcast, we’ll hear from pastor of Twin Rivers Church, Joe Dobbins, who helps us uncover hope after experiencing church hurt. 

Joe Dobbins: You know, what I’ve learned is forgiveness is never a one time event. It’s a daily exercise that every time you remember how they hurt you, you’re going to have to decide to release it and forgive it again. And eventually what happens is that practice causes the decision in your head to move into the feelings in your heart. And if you do it enough, you’ll eventually find that the pain you’ve been carrying from rejection is replaced with God’s peace.