Nicholas Sparks: I think the nature of life is that there are challenges and sadness and tragedies and pain and suffering. And hopefully we’ll find a way to love God anyway, because I think that’s what it’s all about. I think God wants you to have faith. That’s the simplest way to put it. 

God is the Author of Every Part of Our Stories: Nicholas Sparks & Mattie Jackson Smith – Episode #434

Narrator: Welcome to the Jesus Calling Podcast. Today, we are thrilled to be joined by Nicholas Sparks, the renowned author whose novels like The Notebook and A Walk to Remember have touched hearts around the world. While many know him for his captivating love stories, few realize that Nicholas’ journey to writing was born out of personal setbacks and unexpected moments of faith. He’ll let us in on his latest book, Counting Miracles, ​​a powerfully emotional novel about wondering if we can change—or even make our peace with—the path we’ve taken.

Later in the episode, we’ll hear from Mattie Jackson Smith—author, speaker, and daughter of country music legend Alan Jackson—as she shares about the process of grieving her husband, Ben, and the identity loss that came with it. As Mattie struggled to trust God in the face of unimaginable suffering, she watched as God turned her life story around in a way she never could have imagined. 

Let’s begin with Nicholas’ story.

Nicholas Sparks: I am Nicholas Sparks. I am an author of a bunch of novels, and many of them have been adapted into film. 

Growing up, writing was not my passion. My passion was track and field. And I was good enough to break some records here and there and get a scholarship to Notre Dame and had a relatively successful career there. I still hold the school record, among other things, after forty plus years. 

But unfortunately, I also had some setbacks here and there. During my freshman year, I got injured. In between my freshman and sophomore year, I went home to convalesce. And the doctor said that to get better, I couldn’t train that summer. I literally had to take the summer off. And it was really hard on me because that’s what I loved most in the world. I had dreams of going to the Olympics and things like that, and it was crushing. 

So I don’t think mentally or emotionally I was in any kind of a good headspace at all, moping around the house. And my mom got tired of it and she said, “Look, don’t just pout. Do something.” I’m a nineteen year old kid and I’m like, “What?” She’s like, “I don’t know, go write a book.” And I said, “Yeah, I think I’ll do that.” And over the next six weeks, I proceeded to write my very first novel. It was never published, and yet I learned a couple of things about myself. Number one, that I had it in me to finish a story once I started, and that number two, there were parts of telling a story that I really enjoyed.  

“I learned a couple of things about myself. Number one, that I had it in me to finish a story once I started, and that number two, there were parts of telling a story that I really enjoyed.” – Nicholas Sparks  

Loving God in the Face of Tragedy

When I was twenty-three—about six weeks after I was married—my mom was killed in a horseback riding accident. Four years later, my dad was killed in a car accident. Two sudden deaths. I think three years after that, my younger sister died of a brain tumor. And almost immediately after that, my son was diagnosed as severely autistic. And it was suggested to us that he might end up institutionalized for the rest of his life. I think it was eight or nine years, you know, those are big things, pretty much most of my entire family was wiped out.  

It was a very challenging period. And I’ll admit I didn’t pray a lot at that point in my life. I certainly felt a bit Job-like in that, Why do bad things happen to good people? There is no great answer to that in the Bible. My own spin on the answer to that is God created man, and we fell from grace. Thus, bad things happen. It’s the nature of life for challenges to happen. And I think in the end, what is most important to God is that we choose to still believe. And we choose to love God. 

“It’s the nature of life for challenges to happen. And I think in the end, what is most important to God is that we choose to still believe.” – Nicholas Sparks

It has to come down to faith and not proof. Good things and bad things are going to happen. I think the nature of life is that there are challenges and sadness and tragedies and pain and suffering. And hopefully, we’ll find a way to love God anyway, because I think that’s what it’s all about. I think God wants you to have faith. That’s the simplest way to put it.

Nicholas Gives Writing a Chance

When I was twenty-seven, I decided to give writing another chance. I had some time in the evenings after work. My wife at that time, we had a second son who wasn’t sleeping, so she would be up multiple times in the night, so she was going to bed early, 8:00/8:30, so that she could at least get a little sleep. And so it was either chase a dream and try writing again, or watch TV. I opted for the former, and six months later, I had completed The Notebook. 

Counting Miracles

Not all of my novels have a strong faith element. It really depends on the particular story. It really comes down to characters, right? I do that just to create characters that I believe feel real and they become people that you almost feel as if you could know in your own life, or you do know in your own life. In my life, for instance, there are people who just have tremendous faith. And so it’s a way of reflecting the reality of the world.  

Counting Miracles is a story of three main characters. You’ve got Tanner, he was in the military for a while, and then after the military, he joined U.S. Aid, did security work overseas in Africa and Haiti and places like that. He’s led a very unsettled life. He’s never set down roots anywhere, and he’s kind of still in that state. Before his grandmother passed away early in the novel, she gave him some information on his biological father, a guy that he’d never met, and said, “You might find some answers in a place called Asheboro, North Carolina.” So Tanner rolls into town looking for info on his father. 

And there he meets Kaitlyn, who’s a physician in town raising two kids—one a teenager, one about nine years old. She’s trying to do her best for her kids. And she also can’t help but wonder if this is all there is in life.  

And the final character is a guy who lives in a cabin in the woods a stone’s throw away from where the doctor lives. His name is Jasper. He’s had a traumatic life. And he learns there’s a white deer in the woods and that there might be poachers after it, so he sets out to try to make sure the white deer stays safe.

The Book of Job did serve as a large inspiration for Jasper’s character. Many people remember that Job was a man of faith. And then the devil and God are talking and basically the devil says, “Yeah, well, of course Job is full of faith. You’ve given him everything. He’s got a great life. He’s wealthy, he’s got a family. He’s in good physical condition. What if he didn’t have those things?” And basically God says, “Well, I don’t know. Let’s see…” And so bad things begin to happen to Job. He loses his crops and his flocks of animals. He loses his wife and he loses all of his children after that. Eventually, his body gets covered with boils, and Job doesn’t really struggle with his faith. But of course, it is tested a little. And by the end of that story, his faith is then rewarded.

And so with Jasper, a faith-filled family was just an aspect of his character, and he leads this wonderful, blessed life that he always wanted to lead and was successful in business. He’s got this wonderful family and he’s in great health. And then little by little, it all goes bad. And then by the end, of course, his faith is rewarded. 

Practicing Forgiveness & Gratitude

There have been a lot of very detailed studies that show if you make a conscious effort at doing a couple of things in your life, you have a tendency to have more peace and contentment in your life. And they’re very simple, it’s forgiveness and gratitude. And if you make a conscious effort to add those to your life, you’ll feel more inner peace. And of course, it is what Christ asks us to do, right? 

We’re asking God to forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. It’s pretty much right there in there in the words that Christ taught us when people asked Him, “How should one pray to God?” And that’s part of that.

In the end, the rules are pretty simple as to what one should do on a daily basis to, I guess, feel better, lead a good life, find peace and contentment. You love God and your neighbor as yourself. And if you do that, it’s easy to look yourself in the mirror in the morning and say, “Hey, I may not have the money of [Jeff] Bezos, I don’t look like Brad Pitt, and I can’t run as fast as Usain Bolt or climb mountains as well as Alex Honnold.” And go, “That’s okay, because I love God and I treat my neighbor and love my neighbor as myself. I do right by the world.” I can look myself in the mirror because I know that’s the thing that makes the world a better place. That’s what makes your family better. That’s what makes your friendships better. If you’re treating them with honesty and trust and respect and kindness and forgiveness and gratitude, you’re treating them the way you want to be treated, right? Well, you’re making the world a better place.

Narrator: To learn more about Nicholas Sparks, please visit www.nicholassparks.com, and be sure to check out his latest novel, Counting Miracles, available at your favorite retailer. 

Stay tuned to Mattie Jackson Smith’s story after a brief message.

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Our next guest is Mattie Jackson Smith, who shares her deeply personal journey following the sudden loss of her first husband, Ben. Mattie opens up about the devastating heartbreak, the struggle to trust God amidst suffering, and how—through time and prayer—she found peace that sprung out of her deepest pain, and hoped that there would be more to her story. 

Mattie Jackson Smith: My name is Mattie Jackson Smith, I’m an author, podcaster, and speaker. And I’m excited to share with you all a little bit about my story.

A Season of Emptiness and Uncertainty 

When I was twenty-eight, I was a newlywed. My husband Ben and I got married here in Nashville where I live. And we were coming up on our one year anniversary and went on a trip with some friends and family. And on that trip he suffered a very sudden traumatic brain injury which left us in the ICU, out of town for twelve days with multiple brain surgeries and a medically induced coma. And he ended up passing away there in Florida, three weeks before our first wedding anniversary. 

All of a sudden a widow at twenty-eight, it upends everything about your life. The loss and grief of him and our love, but also our future and everything else we had planned for. There is this devastating emptiness of that person not being in your life. But there is also this emptiness in this really painful and unwanted shift of our identity in relation to that person. 

“All of a sudden a widow at twenty-eight, it upends everything about your life. The loss and grief of him and our love, but also our future and everything else we had planned for. There is this devastating emptiness of that person not being in your life. But there is also this emptiness in this really painful and unwanted shift of our identity in relation to that person.” – Mattie Jackson Smith 

For all the women that I’ve met along the way who had thirty and forty years [with their spouse], they’re grieving a past where I was grieving a future, and there’s no comparison. I just think that there’s such a hole regardless of how long that relationship is.

I think that the issue of trust was one that I fought with daily for the first many, many months. And why that trust in God felt fractured was because it’s like if you believe the Lord is sovereign and you believe He’s good, then I had to accept the fact that He let this happen, that He didn’t stop it, and accept that He didn’t miraculously heal [Ben’s] brain and his body as we begged for in the hospital. And so I think my inclination at first was just as many of ours is, and that was to ask why, ask why, and ask why, and kind of crave this understanding of why it happened or what God was going to do with it. And that’s very natural. 

But there was a point where probably five or six months after Ben passed, I was reading the Book of Job. And I remember reading that conversation in the first chapter between God and Satan and Satan saying, “He’s only faithful because he’s got an easy life.” And God’s saying, basically, “You have free reign. You can do whatever you want to him. You just can’t kill him.” And in that moment, honestly, for the first time, I was so angry because I thought, Is this what happened to me, God? Did you give him free reign to take my husband and take my marriage, to test my faithfulness? And just breaking down and wailing and yelling and just at the end of that outburst, kind of collapsing in my kitchen and just hearing the Holy Spirit say, “You’re mine. The only answer you need to all of your questions is that you are My child and I have you and I will always have you.” And in that moment, it was sort of this shift from, I want the answers, I want to understand, to, I simply have to choose to believe that that’s true. I have to choose to believe that I am Yours, that You are sovereign, and that You are good. And so because of those things, I can trust You, even though it doesn’t feel like I want to. 

And so from there, for a long time, I chose to read scriptures that reminded me, and I chose to call people who loved me to remind me that God was trustworthy and that He was good. And eventually, in choosing to say those things to myself, I started to believe them again. 

Allowing Pain to Run Its Course

One of the hardest and most important lessons to learn was that we kind of have developed this bent to say, “I’m fine,” or, “I can handle it.” Or I think what was most heartbreaking for me that I’ve heard over and over now that I work with so many bereaved people, is that they say, “I just couldn’t hold it together,” or, “I’m sorry I broke down.” We hear that all the time. We’ve said that, I’m sure, all of us. And so I think when we look back at scripture, that’s not at all God’s expectation for us. In fact, it’s the opposite over and over again in the Psalms, where they have a designated period to grieve. And that’s because God didn’t design us to hold the weight of death in that way on our own. And so somehow I had to learn that, no, this isn’t, “I’m sorry I’m breaking down.” This isn’t, “I can’t handle this on my own.” It’s that, “I’m not supposed to handle this on my own.” And so I had to really come to terms with, “This isn’t a weakness in my grief. This is actually what’s going to allow me space to continue healing.” 

“God didn’t design us to hold the weight of death on our own.” – Mattie Jackson Smith 

I use the analogy that it’s a lot like a sunburn. If you get a sunburn, people tell you to take a hot shower and that’s miserable. It actually is more painful, but it does release some of that burn and enable you to heal quicker. And I really believe that that’s God’s kind, fatherly invitation to us in our grief. And so when I started to accept and embrace and even instigate those moments of really looking at photos or listening to songs or going through and sitting with some of Ben’s things to allow that deep, deep pain that we’re good at pushing down to come out, it was on the back side of those moments that I felt just Holy Spirit peace.

It’s necessary to honor that we are fragile, we are human. We’re not designed to carry the weight of this on our own. And God knows that, and He meets us and provides what we need in those moments. 

The Lord is, number one, heartbroken with you and for you. I think that was a really comforting thing for me to discover in real time in my grief, is that when we look at scripture and we look at the gospels, Jesus weeps over Lazarus because He says they don’t see him for who he is and He is moved to compassion [John 11:35]. He hurts for us and with us. And just to remember that He is that wonderful counselor, as Isaiah says, He’s with us on that couch, letting us cry, and holding us in that. And that picture was just very comforting to me as I grieved Ben as a person and as my husband. But also in that identity loss and grief that when it comes down to it, God tells us for these reasons in these seasons over and over and over again, our identity is in Him and our identity is a gift in Christ, and that will never change and that will never die. 

God Meets Us In Our Circumstances

I think for me personally, looking back now six years later in retrospect, and seeing that, yes, He is a God who gives us free will and He is a God who lets the world function and have accidents, but He is always faithful not to fix our circumstances, but to meet us in them over and over and over again. What I see now is a record of redemption. I think that’s what I always pray that people see in my story. I hope people who hear this and see me and see a life truly rich with joy and a life restored in so many ways, sees the truth that God is a God of redemption. He’s not a god of replacement. 

“He is always faithful not to fix our circumstances, but to meet us in them over and over and over again.” – Mattie Jackson Smith

I prayed to be remarried and I prayed to eventually be able to be a mom, which I didn’t know if I would. And He has answered those prayers miraculously. I’m blown away by it every day. But before those things happened, He had to heal just me and God. I had to get to a point where I could look at myself and I could look at my closest friends and say, “If these prayers are answered no, then I’m good with that.”

What I mean by that is what’s the balance of really asking God for what I want and surrendering it to Him? That’s what I had to learn to do. I never stopped praying for those things, and if they hadn’t happened for me yet at this point, I would still be praying for them, too. But you go back to the garden of Gethsemane and Jesus’ model where He says, “Father, take this cup from me, but not what I will, what You will.” And that’s easy to say and it’s really, really hard to do. But I believe that when we start to hold anything in our life that we’re waiting on or asking for or worried about with that model that Jesus gives us, that God is just delighted and honored and I think that’s where He meets us with peace and patience as we wait for things. He wants us to ask for what we want. He’s a good Dad, and He knows already. So it honors Him when you say exactly what you long for, but it also honors Him and brings you peace when you say, “Not my will, but Your will.” And that was my prayer, “I want these things, God, so badly. You know that. But I want them in Your way, in Your will, in Your timing.” That’s the prayer He’s always faithful to answer. And then because He’s good and because He’s a Dad who loves His kids, He keeps writing our stories into more joy and into more beauty and into more abundant life. And we don’t know how or when, but He does. And so I hope my life is that picture for people who are at the point I was several years ago, where they can’t picture hope and they can’t picture redemption. He always redeems and He’ll do it in His way, but He’ll do it.

“What’s the balance of really asking God for what I want and surrendering it to Him? He keeps writing our stories into more joy and into more beauty and into a more abundant life.” – Mattie Jackson Smith

I think all of us, no matter the season, have times where we just feel like peace is impossible. Right? Like, it’s elusive. Whether it is grief and heartbreak, whether it’s just sheer pace of life and busyness. I think we all tend to suffer from a lack of peace in some way. And God calls Christ the Prince of Peace. And so it’s like, that’s a nice picture, but what does that really mean? I think for me, what I realized is we want peace to look like the lake is perfectly flat, calm, like a mirror, and everything’s peaceful and there’s a sunset. But really, the peace that God offers is it’s still raining, it’s still windy, it’s still chaotic, and a little dangerous and scary. But the ground under us is completely stable and our feet are rooted, our knees are strong, knowing God will protect me. He will provide for me. He will meet me in the middle of this. And that, so much more often, I think is what He gives us when we pray for peace. Instead of fixing what’s going on around us, more often it’s just holding us tight in the middle of everything being scary. 

You think back to being a kid and If you’re afraid of the dark, it’s still dark. But when your parents hold you tightly, what’s around you doesn’t change, but you feel secure. And I think that’s the way that I experience the peace of God. And I think that’s one of the most miraculous things that we experience as believers. 

“You think back to being a kid and If you’re afraid of the dark, it’s still dark. But when your parents hold you tightly, what’s around you doesn’t change, but you feel secure. And I think that’s the way that I experience the peace of God. And I think that’s one of the most miraculous things that we experience as believers.” – Mattie Jackson Smith 

This is Jesus Listens from June 21st:

Glorious God, 

Your Word teaches that I am being transformed into Your image from Glory to Glory. I find this verse both comforting and thrilling! I’m grateful that Your Spirit is orchestrating this massive work in me. When I face difficulties in my life, I don’t want to waste those challenging circumstances. Instead, I can invite You to use them to transform me more and more into Your likeness. This may be a painful process, but I know that Your wisdom, ways, and will are perfect. I need to be willing to suffer with You so I may also be glorified with You. 

Even though my troubles sometimes seem heavy and endless, I realize they’re really just light and momentary—compared to the eternal Glory they are achieving for me. I’m learning to thank You for my hard times and praise You for ongoing troubles, regardless of how I’m feeling. I want to glorify You by always giving thanks, even in the midst of adversity—because of who You are and all that You’ve done for me. Moreover, a thankful attitude helps me make progress in my transformation from Glory to Glory! 

In Your beautiful Name, Jesus, 

Amen

Narrator: To learn more about Mattie Jackson Smith, www.mattiejackson.net, and check out her new 365-day devotional, Through the Valley of Grief, at your favorite retailer.

If you’d like to hear more stories about how God works all things together for good, check out our interview with Willie Robertson.

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Next week: Dr. Sarita Lyons

Next time on the Jesus Calling Podcast, we’ll hear from Bible teacher and psychotherapist Dr. Sarita Lyons, who sheds light on the complexities of church relationships and what steps we can take to heal when we experience hurt in a church atmosphere. 

Dr. Sarita Lyons: We need the Word of God. We need the counsel from Scripture so that we can be strong, so that we can be good disciples, so that we can be faithful, so that we can be ambassadors, so that we can be the living epistles where God is making His appeal through us to man.