4 Tips to Living with Confidence

By Alli Worthington

Have you ever felt so nervous, worried, or anxious that you wanted to stay in bed and pull the covers over your head?

Have you ever been so overwhelmed by the fear of failure, of disappointing your family, that you just shut down?

Me, too.

So often, I sense fear getting the best of me. When I feel like I’m going to fail, I want to hide, put on my mask, and snap at the people I love. Sometimes I just want to flat-out quit.

But that’s not the person I want to be.

So when I feel overwhelmed I pray, read a powerful daily devotion in Jesus Calling, and use this little Fierce Faith mantra to keep me on track.

Show up.

Be real.

Love others.

Don’t quit.

These four little phrases have boosted my confidence and transformed the way I live. I bet they can help you, too. Let me show you how.

Show Up

Don’t let the fear of failure keep you from showing up.

When we are afraid to fail, the idea of hiding at home under the covers so we can avoid trying at all can sound really good. Sometimes half the battle is simply showing up.

Be Real

Don’t let your fear of failure keep you from being who you are.

When I feel nervous around others, my defense mechanism has always been to look around, watch what everyone else is doing, and make like a chameleon to fit in. If I feel I am going to fail as my true self, my logic has always been, Why not be someone else? or worse yet, Why not be everyone else?

We need to live convinced that we are fearfully, wonderfully, and purposefully made just as we are.

To this day, when I feel tempted to transform into someone else, I tell myself, Be real, Alli. Be real.

Love Others

Don’t let the fear of failure cause you to treat others badly.

This is a reminder to avoid letting fear cause me to be short-tempered with others. My goal is to love and lead others well, even when I’m a mess inside.

When I’m tempted to treat others badly, I quietly repeat my Fierce Faith mantra: “Show up, be real, love others, don’t quit.” That helps me to calm down and speak kindly.

Don’t Quit

Don’t let the fear of failure—or anything else, for that matter—cause you to quit. We only truly fail when we quit trying.

I find the temptation to quit occurs most often when I am in the middle of a project or job. When I’m overwhelmed with fear that I will fail, I decide quitting (and being labeled “a quitter”) is so much better than failing (and being labeled “a failure”).

Fear is not rational and does not allow us to think clearly. That’s why I love this reminder from Jesus Calling:

“You are on the path of my choosing. There is no randomness about your life”
Jesus Calling, May 1

It helps me remember we can trust God and follow the path He has set in front of us. Even when the journey looks scary, He has planned our steps. It doesn’t matter if it looks like we are going to fail. We just need to keep going!

When we remember the Fierce Faith mantra, we can let go of trying to control anyone else or the outcome of what we do. The results are up to God. He just asks us to be who He called us to be and to love others. We get to focus on bringing our best to any situation with courage and love.

Show up, be real, love others, don’t quit: that is how we live with confidence.

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Alli Worthington helps people be successful in life and business. She is an advisor, speaker, and the Executive Director of Propel Women. As an executive and entrepreneurial coach, Alli helps individuals, small business owners, and Fortune 500 companies be more successful. Alli’s no-nonsense, guilt-free take on motherhood, parenting, and balance has led to appearances on The Today Show and Good Morning America. She lives outside Nashville with her husband, Mark, their five sons, and a pampered rescued dog. You can connect with Alli at AlliWorthington.com